星期三, 2月 25, 2009

發現了 90/10 的定律

又是一個forward來的email, 又有這樣的一個故事。還是中英對照。(++還有作者照片呢)

Discover the 90/10 Principle.
發現了 90/10 的定律。
作者:Stephen Covey史蒂芬‧柯維博士






It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
它將改變你的一生(最低限度,它將改變你對不同情況的反應)。

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
90/10 的定律是什麼?生命的10%是由你的際遇所組成,餘下的90%則由你的反應而決定。

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
這意味著什麼?我們無法掌握那10%的際遇。我們無法阻止行程因汽車壞掉、航班誤點,甚或車子拋錨而延誤。

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
我們無法控制那10%的際遇,但餘下的90%則不然。你可以決定餘下的90%。

How? ……….By your reaction.
如何?…憑你的反應。

You cannot control a red light. But you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; You can control how you react.
你不能控制交通燈轉紅,但你能夠控制你的反應。別讓他人愚弄你,你能夠控制你的反應。

Let's use an example.
讓我們舉個例子。

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
你與你的家人吃早餐,你的女兒不小心把咖啡潑倒在你的襯衫上,這是你無法控制的情況。

What happens next will be determined by how you react.
下一步將如何則由你的反應而定。

You curse.
你開始責罵。

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
你狠狠地臭罵女兒一頓,令她陷於痛苦之中。然後你又把怨氣發洩在太太身上,責難她把咖啡放在桌邊。接踵而來的是一場短暫的罵戰。你生氣地上樓更換你的襯衫。你下樓,然後發現你的女兒正哭著吃早餐並趕著回校。結果,她錯過了巴士。

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
你的太太趕著上班,你匆忙開車把女兒送回學校。因為你已經遲到了,你以時速四十英里在一條限速三十英里上的道路前進。

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
你付了六十元道路罰款,終於抵達學校,並已遲到十五分鐘。你的女兒沒有跟你道別便已跑進學校。你回到公司,已是九時二十分了,這時你竟然發現─你忘了帶公事包。這是非常糟糕的一天,而你感到你的運氣每況越下,你開始渴望回家。

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
當你下班回家,你感到你與太太及女兒的關係上出現微小裂痕。

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
為什麼?… 一切皆由你早上的反應而起。

Why did you have a bad day?
為何你會有如此糟糕的一天?
A) Did the coffee cause it? A)是咖啡所造成的嗎?
B) Did your daughter cause it? B)是你的女兒所造成的嗎?
C) Did the policeman cause it? C)是警察所造成的嗎?
D) Did you cause it? D)是你所造成的嗎?

The answer is “D". 答案是D 。

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
你無法控制女兒打翻咖啡一事,但你在緊接那五秒內的反應讓霉運開始發生。

Here is what could have and should have happened.
以下是你改寫命運的結局。

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
咖啡翻倒在你身上,你的女兒幾乎要哭了,但你溫柔地說:「親愛的,這並不算什麼,但你下次得小心一點了。」你拿起毛巾便上樓去。在你更衣完畢並拿起你的公事包後,你下樓去,望出窗外,你看到你的孩子正在上巴士。她回頭並向你揮手。你早了五分鐘回到公司,並親切地與你的同事打招呼。你的上司亦對你新的一天給予正面的評價。

Notice the difference?
看到兩者的分別嗎?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
兩個不同的情景,由同一個開首所引起。但結局完全兩樣。

Why?
為什麼?

Because of how you REACTED.
皆因你的反應而起。

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
你或許真的無法掌控 10% 的際遇,但剩下的 90% 則可以由你的反應而定。

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
以下有一些實踐 90/10 定律的方法。如有人說起你的是非,千萬別當一塊「海綿」,讓那些攻擊性的說話像水在玻璃上一般的流走。別讓那些負面評價纏繞著你!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
適當的回應能夠使你的生活免受破壞。一個錯誤的反應能夠使你失去朋友、生氣、甚或被壓力壓得喘不過氣來。

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you.curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
如果車子拋錨了,你會如何感想?你會生氣嗎?你會否猛擊車上的鐵鍊?我的一個朋友就把鐵鍊弄下來!你會怒罵嗎?你的血壓是否急速上升?你會否嘗試去踫擊他們?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
誰會在意你上班遲到了十秒?為何讓車子破壞你的駕駛過程?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
記著 90/10 的定律,別在意。

You are told you lost your job.
你被通知說你被辭退了。

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
你為何失眠與憤怒 ? 事情總是發生了。不如用你憂心的力量及時間去找尋新工作吧!

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
航班延誤了,而它將影響你一整天的行程。為何將你的怒氣發洩在服務員的身上?她並不能阻止事情發生。

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
如利用你的時間學習,或認識旁邊的乘客。不要憤怒,它將令你的一天變的更糟。

Now you know the 90/10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
現在,你懂得了90/10的定律。實踐它,你將會發現它的驚人效果。嘗試實行它,你將不會有任何損失。90/10的定律非常神奇,而只有很少數的人懂得運用它。

The result?
結果呢?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
超過百萬人沈溺在痛苦、嘗試、問題與心傷之中。我們必須理解並實踐90/10的定律。

It CAN change your life!!!
它將改變你的一生!

Enjoy….!
願與各位並勉!

大風無法撼動一座山

一個forward來的email, 有這樣的一個故事...

當別人對你說了一些刺傷你的話,批評你、羞辱你,你會怎樣?你會火冒三丈,氣呼呼地罵回去,或是忍氣吞聲地強壓 下來?然後呢?你是否會愈想愈氣,整個情緒都大受影響?

有天,佛陀行經一個村莊,一些前去找他的人對他說話很不客氣,甚至口出穢言。佛陀站在那裡仔細地、 靜靜地聽著,然後說:「謝謝你們來找我,不過我正趕路,下一村的人還在等我,我必須趕過去。不過等明天回來之後我會有較充裕的時間,到時候如果你們還有什 麼話想告訴我,再一起過來好嗎?」那些人簡直不敢相信他們耳朵所聽到的話,和眼前所看到的情景:這個人是怎麼回事?其中一個人問佛陀:「難道你沒有聽見我 們說的話嗎?我們把你說得一無是處,你卻沒有任何反應!」佛陀說 :「假使你要的是我的反應的話,那你來得太晚了,你應該十年前就來的,那時的我就會有所反應。然而,這十年以來我己經不再被別人所控制,我己經不再是個奴隸,我是自己的主人。 我是根據自己在做事,而不是跟隨別人在反應。」

是的,如果有人對你生氣,那是「他的」問題;如果他侮辱你,那是「他的」問題;如果他粗暴無禮,那仍是「他 的」問題。因為他要怎麼說,怎麼做,那是「他的」修養,你能怎麼辦?讓我再重複一遍上面故事中佛陀所說的話:「我己經不再被別人所控制, 我己經不再是個奴隸,我是自己的主人。我是根據自己在做事,而不是跟隨別人在反應。」你是情緒的主人,而不是奴隸。

曾聽過一則故事─有個人每天都固定向某 報攤買一份報紙,儘管這個攤販的臉一向都很臭,但他還是每次都對小販客氣地說聲謝謝。
有一次和他同行的朋友看到這情形,便問他:「他每天賣東西都是這種態 度嗎?」
「是的。」
「那你為什麼還對他如此客氣?」
那人回答:「我為什麼要讓他 決定我的行為?」

是啊!我們為什麼要讓別人的表現來決定自己的行為呢?

你有看過「生命的答案,水知道」這本書嗎?水能夠對人的話與做出反應。當你的心中是 喜悅、感恩的時候,水的結晶就是美麗晶透的;當你的心中是憤恨、仇怒的時候,水的結晶則是扭曲混濁的。人的身體裡70%是水分,你可以想像到,當你在生氣、憤恨、痛苦、怨懟的時候,你身體裡70%的水分是以污濁的水溝水的狀況來呈現ㄡ!那…身體又怎麼會健康呢!對吧!

看到這裡,你還要生氣嗎?